When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you and I would not blame the lettuce. We would look for reasons it is not doing well. We may look at the soil needing natural fertilizers or compost, or more water or less direct sunshine. We would never blame the lettuce itself. Well, we might look at the quality of the seeds but other than that we would not blame the lettuce.
Yet if we have a problem with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce. Blaming and pointing the finger so to speak has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments.
That is my experience.
No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. Putting yourself in the other fellows shoes so to speak.
If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change. I'm reminded of Matthew 18: in the Bible on this issue also.